How Life Coaching Helped a Grieving Mother Find Meaning Again

## The Unthinkable Some stories are hard to tell, but Patricia asked us to share hers through CoachHub because she believes it might help someone else. Patricia Holloway's world ended on March 15, 2024, when her 16-year-old son Ethan was killed by a drunk driver while riding his bicycle home from school. In an instant, everything that mattered — every plan, every dream, every assumption about how life was supposed to work — was destroyed. 'People say time heals,' Patricia says quietly. 'It doesn't. Time just puts distance between you and the worst day of your life. But the wound doesn't close. You just learn to carry it differently.' For 18 months after Ethan's death, Patricia existed in a fog. She went through the motions — work, groceries, laundry — but felt nothing. Her marriage was strained. Her surviving daughter, 13-year-old Maya, was struggling, and Patricia knew she wasn't emotionally available enough to help. ## A Gentle Suggestion We share Patricia's story with her permission because it's one of the most moving journeys we've witnessed through CoachHub. Patricia's grief counselor had helped her survive the acute phase, but after a year, she felt stuck. Not in active despair anymore, but in a gray emptiness that felt permanent. Her counselor suggested supplementing their work with a life coach — someone who could help Patricia think about the future, a concept that felt impossible and almost offensive. 'How do you plan a future when the person you were planning it for is gone?' She found a life coach on CoachHub whose bio mentioned 'meaning-making after loss.' Their first conversation lasted two hours. ## Building on Broken Ground Patricia's coach didn't try to 'fix' her grief or rush her toward positivity. Instead, she helped Patricia sit with a paradox: that life can be permanently broken AND still worth living. That meaning doesn't replace loss — it coexists with it. They worked slowly, gently, over many months. First on self-care (Patricia had stopped exercising, eating properly, and sleeping). Then on relationships (reconnecting with her daughter, her husband, her friends). Then, tentatively, on purpose. 'My coach asked me: If Ethan could see you right now, what would he want for you? That question broke me open. Because I knew exactly what he'd say. He'd say, Mom, stop sitting in the dark. Go do something.' ## The Foundation Eighteen months into coaching, Patricia launched the Ethan Holloway Foundation, dedicated to bicycle safety and drunk driving prevention. She started speaking at schools, working with legislators, and raising funds for protected bike lanes in her community. 'I'm not 'over' losing Ethan. I will never be over it. But my coach helped me understand that I can honor his life by living mine fully — not despite the grief, but alongside it. She gave me permission to feel joy again without guilt. That was the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.' Patricia now mentors other grieving parents through the foundation. 'My coach showed me that my pain has purpose. Not that Ethan died for a reason — I'll never believe that. But that what I do with my pain is my choice. And I choose to make it matter.'

success story grief life coaching purpose finding-coach